Sunday 28 April 2013

Stories of Resettlement

Resettlement, like so many things in Uganda, can be incredibly convoluted. All of my time in Uganda has been a learning experience, I readily admit that. And I am trying to learn as much as I can. Sometimes I feel like I could be in this culture a lifetime and things would still surprise me and so needless to say, after almost three months I am barely scratching the surface of things. We resettled a boy named Innocent last week. It was interesting.
 
I want to give you an honest perspective on how things are here, or at least my honest perspective on how I perceive things to be. I have noticed that some people come to Africa and they have a romantic and consequently somewhat naive view on the way things are here and what it means to be in the culture and "help." Others are very a where of the issues. They feel the burden of them and they want to see things change quickly for the best. But things happen differently here and it can bring a lot of frustration.... These are the extremes I suppose. But I have seen them here in others. And I have seen them here in myself. Somehow you have to see and love the beauty in the people of the culture while still being willing to honestly stare in the face of the brokenness at the same time. Sometimes the brokenness manifests itself in the lack of relationships, integrity, and responsibility of the very people you know to be so beautiful.  And then you also have to stare honestly at your own heart and see the brokenness that is also there. It is a hard thing to do.
 
I care a lot about Innocent. At program he was hardworking, resourceful, responsible, polite and seemingly honest. My decision to help him go back to school was largely based on the premise that he had a legitimate need for sponsorship due to his family situation and that he was sincere about having a deep desire to go back to school. Kids that show responsibility and incentive but lack the chance pull on my heart because I feel like they will not miss use an opportunity.
 
Innocent had told us bits and pieces of his story. I felt like something was missing in his story but it is rare for a boy to tell you everything as it is so personal. From his story we had enough to know that his family situation, although not ideal, was not so bad that he could not return to it. He said his real dad was dead. His stepfather had a number of wives. Innocent had ended up on the streets when he was ten but returned home after three years. At this point his stepfather would not pay the school fees to put him back in school. He wanted badly to go back to school. He waited a year but nothing happened. He had problems with his family and so he ran again. This is what he told us.
 
The bus ride up to the area of Uganda where Innocent is from was somehow long, but it was beautiful especially as you got closer to his home. The rolling hills became larger and they flatten out to meet what is left of the thick jungle that used to cover this part of the land. Sugar cane is grown in abundance and banana orchards fill the hillsides. We were getting very close to the border to Congo. Innocent lives near Lake Albert and from the shores of the lake you can see Congo.
 
 
 
Innocent was nervous but excited to go home. It must be such a mix of emotions for these boys when they make the decision to go back to their families. "We are here" he murmured and exhaled deeply as we rounded the last bend before the turn off to his home.
 
It took a bit to untangle ourselves from the care. We had hired a private car from the closest big town since it was easier than going by taxi. There were four of us crammed in the back seat. When Innocent finally managed to get himself out of the vehicle and his family realised who it was there was loud collective shouting. Family members came running from out of the house, around behind the house, and down the road to give him hugs. They were all so happy to see him.
 
Unfortunately Innocent's mother was not there but was in a hospital getting treatment for an illness. We met his jaja (grandmother figure) and siblings. His father lived in a different house due to the number of wives he had, but one of the family members gave him a call and he came to meet us and visit. He also was very thankful that we had brought Innocent home.
 
This is where the stories began to not coincide. As we discussed things with the family they said that they had no idea why Innocent had ran to the streets. He had been in school when he ran. It seemed that the father figure was the biological father of Innocent, at least by all accounts of the family. He called Innocent "my son" and although he was not affectionate to him, he was not rejecting of him. The father himself stated that he was willing to pay school fees for Innocent to go to school. His only concern was whether or not Innocent would actually commit to staying in school. He kept saying "are you sure he wants to study?"
 
When we talked to Innocent he maintained his story. It seemed like we were at a little bit of a impasse when it came to finding the truth in these stories.
 
Interesting.
 
And that is how we left it. We ate supper with Innocents family and took tea with them the next morning. We went to the school where Innocent will be studying and payed the school fees for one term. We talked with Innocent and encouraged him. We prayed with him. And then we left. I still don't know what is true.
 
 
Irene, my wise Ugandan friend who had come with us on the resettlement, said to me that sometimes the best thing in these types of situations is not to look at the past for the truth because people tell many stories. Instead you should look at what is happening now, and watch what happens in the future. That is the truth you can know.

 
So here are some of the things that are true now.  Innocent is at home with his family. They are happy to have him back. He is off the streets which are not a good place for any boy. He will be going back to school when the new term starts in a few weeks. His father has verbally committed to keeping him in school as long as he applies himself. He has given us permission to call the family and follow up with how things are going for Innocent.  Time will tell the the rest.
 
I say this resettlement was interesting because I lack better words to describe it. In my heart I want Innocent to be honest and trustworthy. I want him to be just a kid who is basically "innocent" but had some bad things happen to him. I want him to be telling me the truth about "his dream to go back to school." I want this because it is easier than the possibility that maybe he has other motives.
 
And then another part of my heart feels the weight of the issues that surround Innocent and his family. The many wives, the distant father, the ill mother, the convoluted stories. Innocent ran for a reason. All kids do. I really do not want to place him back in an bad situation. I wanted to know the truth, to make sure it was okay, maybe even make sure that the problems were fixed. But I can't. And that also is the truth.
 
So that is a little of my honest perspective. This type of thing is hard. It is difficult letting go of the desire to control. And then somehow learning to love without expectations. I guess that is what God does. I mean, you want people to make good choices but you love them because you know them, not because they make those choices.
 
Regardless of what happened in the past, I pray that Innocent will now make good choices. I think he will always have a place in my heart. I have learnt a lot through this resettlement.


Also, on a lighter note, we saw baboons! We were in the car but they came really close hoping to get treats. So far the main wildlife I have seen in Uganda is baboons.  I think they are ugly and a little terrifying up close.

 
You can see Lake Albert and the mountains of Congo in the background.  
 


3 comments:

  1. I think about you often, Rachel, I didn't know you were keeping a blog. Thanks so much for taking the time. ~Jo

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  2. Thank you, Rachel, for putting your perspective into words, and so well, too. Your blog convicts me, and makes me ashamed of my materialistic, self-centred life. Thank you for that too! I mean it! I need to be reminded that in God's eyes, each of those boys is every bit as important as any of my loved ones, or people deemed "important" by society, ie. politicians, religious figures, movie stars, rich people, etc.
    So glad to see Tim again! Looking forward to talking you lots when you return! ♥ Mary Jane

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  3. Our prayers continue for you and Innocent in particular. Shane Clairborne was on Huntley Street this morning and said that we in North America must live simply so that others may simply live. I agree with MaryJane. We need to change our attitudes toward those less fortunate and dig into our pockets and help.
    Thank you for your commitment to the boys in Uganda. We so appreciated Tim's talk when he came back. I hope you will share lots with many upon your return. Candy

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